When I first began active
experimentation with prayer, I was full of questions such as: why are some
agonizingly sincere prayers granted, while others are not? Today I still have
questions. Mysteries about prayer are always ahead of knowledge– luring,
beckoning onto further experimentation. But one thing I do know; I learned it
through hard experience. It’s a way of prayer that has resulted consistently in
a glorious answer because each time, power beyond human reckoning has been
released. This is the prayer of relinquishment. I got my first glimpse of it in
1943. I had then been ill for six months with a widespread lung infection, and
a bevy of specialists seemed unable to help. Persistent prayer, using all the
faith I could muster, had resulted in – nothing. One afternoon, a pamphlet was
put in my hands. It was the story of a missionary who had been invalid for
eight years. Constantly, she had prayed that God would make her well, so that
she might do His work. Finally, worn out with futile petition, she prayed, “All
right, I give up. If You want me to be an invalid, that’s Your business. I want
You even more than I want health. You decide.” Within two weeks, the woman was
out of bed, completely well. This made no sense to me, yet I could not forget
the story. On the morning of September 14 – how can I ever forget the date? I
came to the same point of abject acceptance. “I’m tired of asking,” was the
burden of my prayer. “I’m beaten, finished. God, You decide what You want for
me.” Tears flowed. I felt no faith as I understood faith, expected nothing. And
the result? It was as if I had touched a button that opened windows in heaven;
as if some dynamo of heavenly power began flowing, flowing. Within a few hours,
I had experienced the presence of the Living Christ in a way that wiped away
all doubt and revolutionized my life. From that moment, my recovery began.
Through this incident, God was trying to teach me something important about
prayer. Gradually, I saw that a demanding spirit, with self-will as its rudder,
blocks prayer. I understood that the reason for this is that God absolutely
refuses to violate our free will; unless self-will is voluntarily given up,
even God cannot move to answer prayer.
Jesus’ prayer in the Garden of
Gethsemane is this pattern for us. Christ could have avoided the Cross. He did
not have to go up to Jerusalem the last time. He could have compromised with
the priests, bargained with Caiaphas. He could have capitalized on His
following and appeased Judas by setting up the beginning of an earthly Kingdom.
Pilate wanted to release Him, all but begged Him to say the right words that
would let him do so. Even in the Garden on the night of the betrayal, He had
plenty of time and opportunity to flee. Instead, Christ used His free will to
turn the decision over to His Father. “Dear Father… all things are possible to
You. Let me not have to drink this cup! Yet it is not what I want, but what You
want.” The prayer was not answered as the human Jesus wished. Yet power has
been flowing from His Cross ever since. Even at the moment when Christ was
bowing to the possibility of an awful death by crucifixion, He never forgot
either the presence or the power of God.There is a crucial difference here
between acceptance and resignation. There is no resignation in the prayer of
relinquishment. Resignation says, “This is my situation, and I resign myself
and settle down to it.” Resignation lies down in the dust of a godless universe
and steels itself for the worst. Acceptance says, “True, this is my situation
at the moment. I’ll look unblinkingly at the reality of it. But, I’ll also open
up my hands to accept willingly whatever a loving Father sends.” Thus acceptance
never slams the door on hope. Yet, even while it hopes, our relinquishment must
be the real thing – and this giving up of self will is the hardest thing we
human beings are ever called to do.It’s good to remember that not even the
Master Shepherd can lead if the sheep do not follow Him. That’s the why of
Christ’s insistence of a very practical obedience: "And why call ye me,
Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?" Obey… obedience … trust…
is all over the Gospels. The pliability of an obedient heart must be complete
from the set of our wills right on through our actions. So we take the first
hard steps of obedience. And lo, as we stop hiding our eyes, force ourselves to
walk up to the fear and look it full in the face – never forgetting that God
and His power are still the supreme reality – the fear evaporates. Drastic?
Yes. But it is one sure way of releasing prayer power into human affairs. In
the prayer of faith, our hand is still in His. Our heart is still obedient. But
now, He has led us out of the frightening darkness, with only the pressure of
His hand to reassure us, into the sunlight. We look into the face beside us
with a thrill of recognition – the hand of the Father is Jesus’ hand! All
along, our heart told us it was so. Relinquishment? Faith? Just daring to trust
Jesus.Father, for such a long time I have pleaded before You this, the deep
desire of my heart:_______. Yet, the more I have clamored for Your help with
this, the more remote You have seemed. I confess my demanding spirit in this
matter. I've tried suggesting to You ways my prayer could be answered. To my
shame, I have even bargained with You. Yet I know that trying to manipulate the
Lord of the Universe is utter foolishness. I want to trust You, Father. My
spirit knows that these verities are forever trustworthy even when I feel
nothing. That You are there... That You love me...That You alone know what is
best for me... Perhaps all along, You have been waiting for me to give up
self-effort. At last, I want You in my life even more than I want ________. So
now, by an act of my will, I relinquish this to You. I will accept Your will,
whatever that may be. Thank You for counting this act of my will as a decision
of the real person even when my emotions protest. I ask You to hold me true to
this decision. To You, Lord God, who alone are worthy of worship, I bend the
knee with thanksgiving that this too will work together for my good. I
relinquish this to You. Amen.
